The constantly changing life of a wife and mother

Once in a while I need my tabloid fix

Wondered over to ole Ken Silva's site to see latest gossip and anti-christian talk.
Of course, he is writing on, Rob. Ironically enough Ken wrote a topic that I have been researching and thinking about for several months now.
What is the gospel? My understanding of the gospel has always been preaching about Christ's death,burial and resurrection. Oh and lets not forget, I also believed it meant telling people to turn or burn.
The word Gospel is literally means "Good News."
I naturally ask myself what is the good news?

^{Matthew 24:14
14}And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
What is he referring to in this passage?
It seems by reading the passage it is safe to assume the "good news" is simply Jesus is returning. Would you agree?
Matthew 26:13
¹³I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

What she did? This gospel should be preached. Interesting..... we have to find out who she is and what she did to understand the text correct?
The text says this women poured perfume on Jesus right before His death and Jesus refers to as "Good News." Why?
Mark 1:1
The beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God.^[a]
I find it interesting that Mark says this is the beginning of the "Good News" about Jesus yet He takes sixteen chapters to tell story after story after story about what? Simply Christ's Death and Resurrection?
Mark 8:35
For whoever wants to save his life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
I would say the "Good News" in this passage is Jesus death, burial and Resurrection and dying to yourself. Agree?
Mark 10:29
²⁹"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel.
I find this be a very ponderous passage. And the gospel?  What is Jesus refereeing to one chapter later in Mark? If you read the passage the Rich Young man asks what He must do to inherit eternal life? Jesus responded and said "Obey the ten commands." The young man said he had since birth. Jesus said "One thing you lack." He told him to go sell everything He had give it to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven and then come follow me. He also talks about receiving the little children. So what is the gospel in this passage? It seems to be the "Good news" is what you do to care for others.
Luke 20:1
¹One day as he was teaching the people in the temple courts and preaching the gospel, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, together with the elders, came up to him.
What exactly was Jesus preaching about in the Temple? What was the Good news?
Acts 8:12
But when the believed Phillip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women.
What was the good news?
Acts 8:26
When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter claimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel in many Samaritan villages.
I would argue that all of Jesus teachings is the gospel. Jesus is the gospel. The good news is not simply Christ, death, burial and resurrection. It is Jesus and all He teaches which certainly includes his death, burial and resurrection.
Would you agree?
Now to argue with a fellow brothers definition of the gospel he uses the verse in Mark 16:15.
which says
He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." 16 Whoever believes and it is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these sgins will accompany those who believe: in my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and they will drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people and they will get well.
I think it is interesting that ken quotes the first half of this passage to define evangelism but ignores the rest.
These people were doing some pretty wacko things to accompany what they believed. The gospel seems to be a belief backed up by an action in this passage.
So where is it John and Ken? Lets see you drink some deadly poison, hold a snake, and lay hands on the sick. You can't quote half a passage and ignore the rest.
What is the gospel to you?

I can't seem to keep up

Guess what I did? Monday my husband couldn't coach soccer because he had to work. Monday morning he draws up a practice schedule and sends me off to practice. Yep, you heard me right. A women who still has yet to learn the difference between chin guards and cleets. A women who has no idea what corner kick or goal kick is and will never understand off sides coached soccer.
I had no other choice. I couldn't let my daughter down. She is depending on us to do this. I put on my tank top, running pants, a jacket and my husbands red hat and headed to practice with my little clip board in hand. I have really cute kids on my team. I followed the clip board of instructions and luckily had a little help from a twelve year old. We had fun. I was unsure what I was doing. We scrimmaged and did some other drills. We shouted, chanted, ran it was great. When it was time to end practice I sent them all on their way forgetting the last part on my clip board. They are suppose to arrived at 8:45 on Saturday. Oops Hopefully everyone remembers that Saturday is game day. As I was turning to walk away I felt little arms around me. I looked down and their was one of my team members hugging me. That made my day.
Tuesday I spend working out and then the girls and I hung out with a friend in GR. She just moved and has the cutest little apartment in the city. I loved it. I could never live in the city but I did like her place. My girls love playing with her boys.
Yesterday was not a good day. I was cranky and irritable. I went to the gym and worked hard. Came home and boiled tomatoes, skinned them, mashed them and turned them into two pots of spaghetti sauce. When I picked up Kendra from school I got the best news. Kendra's teacher told me she wished all her students were like Kendra. She said she is very smart(which she tells me every day) and well behaved. And most important Kendra is trust worthy. She said she can trust her and she can't say that about her other students. She has a rough class this year. She also told me that Friday Kendra was in reading group three. Yesterday she moved her to reading group six. That is the top group! I am so proud of her. She definitely is not taking after her mama.  I was always in the lowest reading group ever:-( She must get it from her dad who is a crazy reader!
Today I am cleaning and do laundry and then eating dinner with Joe later.

Familiarizing myself with online learning

My sister in law left yesterday afternoon. First thing I did was take a nap. I was wiped out. Then I got up and took a look at my online classroom stuff, met some of my classmates, and wrote a short bio about myself.
The question they asked is why "I am I going to school?" I have a ton of reasons but nothing really concrete. I would love to say I have one great reason but I don't. I have lots of dreams. My first desire is my family. I love being a mom. I love being a stay at home mom. Until my kids are independently on their own I will be there for them. I have had this desire ticking in me to go back for over a year. I truly believe God wants me to do this. I am not sure what he had in store for me or why. I would love to open a buisness with my husband one day. I was even telling Joe on the way to church this morning  I would love to help the UTM group start buisness and equip them with the tools necessary to change and make difference in the world around them through buisness. I would love to be a real estate investor.(shh that is my little secret) Not necessarily a realator but buy properties and flip them. Have my own little buisness. Really  I would love to do many things as long as they afford me the opportunity to be at home with my kids the majority of the time.
Now that I have rambled on and on. My books are ordered and I am ready. I am actually really excited to start. I am not to excited about taking algebra seeing I have not had a algebra class since 1993. What is that 16 years ago? I am starting off slow, just two classes and then hopefully speeding things up a bit.
Joe is full speed ahead as always. Every day of his life is busy. I just hope he makes it to graduation a live. The speed he is going has to put him at a high risk for a heart attack or something you would think.
Tomorrow night Joe has other obligations so I am coaching practice. This should be interesting. Do you think Joe will kill me if we play a little duck duck goose, and tag? Just kidding. Although I know very little about soccer. Joe is suppose to be drawing up a plan for me but it is currently 9:30 and I have yet to see a plan or better yet teach me drills and how they work. So Duck Duck Goose it is:-)

Where I have I been? A update on my week

Sunday
My sister in law rolled into to town on Saturday evening. We new Sunday would be a crazy day. Joe had worked 36 hours in three days and had things to do at the first service. He got up early, went to church and Joe's sister and the girls and I came later. I had a meeting after church. I am going to join our church in a discipleship ministry. I am looking forward to it. Come to find out a friend of mine is going to journey with me the next several months. She is a new Christians and we have become friends. I thought she would be the perfect person to disciple.
Monday we dropped Kendra off at school, went to the gym and then came home. I took care of some stuff for school, went back to get Kendra, ran her to the doctors for a wellness check up. She apparently has seasonal allergies and is on a inhaler. After her appointment we ran to the hospital to get blood work done on her and then home.
Tuesday was about the same. I dropped kendra off at school went to the gym for a workout, then home for a while, my sister in law and the little ones ran to the mall for a while. We the picked up Kendra came home and Joe and I ran into GR to meet our mentor couple for their last pre marital mentoring before the wedding. They are a great couple. I am looking forward to their wedding. Joe and I had fun with them we even got ice cream together afterwards.
Wednesday
I dropped Kendra off at school then to the gym and then some shopping. We came back into our town picked up Kendra and I had connecting the dots at school. It was great hearing all about first grade. The teacher says math is really hard and so is reading. Kendra however is sailing through. She is doing amazing! The teacher is always telling me how lovely she is. She says she is really smart. She is an amazing kid.
Thursday
Same routine of dropping Kendra off at school, then the gym and then more shopping in Grand Rapids, picked up Kendra, came back to Grand Rapids to eat dinner with Joe back home and that was the day:-)
Friday
We dropped Kendra off at school ran into Grand Rapids to get the little two flu shots. Then Kyra had a hearing assessment at the hospital but we had two hours to kill so we wondered around the hospital for a while. Her hearing test went well. She is not hard hearing which I new. I guess now we will have her speech and language evaluated. After their appointments we watched Joe play racquetball and then home. We picked up Kendra and took a little nap before heading into Chucky Cheese. We were exhuasted and ready for bed.
Saturday
First thing this morning was soccer practice. We are coaching Kendra's team. We had a lot of fun. Kendra seems to enjoy being around her friends this year and I know she will learn something having her dad as the coach. The little two started mini kickers. Oh they are so cute! I took lots of pictures! Monday is soccer practice and Joe has a crazy week so I am coaching on Monday. This will be interesting.
Joe is sick and has a non stop week coming up. I feel bad for him. He is amazing though. They love him at his jobs but whats not to love?
I have finished all my school stuff and am waiting for classes to start. I am excited and nervous. I just want this degree!

I have to rant for a moment and since no one is around to listen..........

My day started with Joe getting out of bed after five hours of sleep. I really never fell back to sleep. He no sooner left that the girls piled in bed with me. I didn't want to be awake. I had this horrible kink in my neck. I wanted to skip the gym. I didn't. I made myself go. Today, I planned to walk on the tread mill and do a little weight training. I was, originally, going to go back to the class i attended yesterday but didn't feel like hitting the gym at eight thirty. While I was walking on the tread mill I chatted with a women with three kids, who is going to school online. She also runs a daycare in her home. Before I knew it I had walked thirty minutes. She left and I did some back machines and then the abductor. While I was on there I noticed that class was getting out. One of the ladies stopped to chat and asked if I would come back to the class.  I told her I will. Oh no, here came the instructor. I thought if I looked straight ahead and didn't look at him he wouldn't say anything to me. Nope, my plan didn't work. I heard "Missed you today." I turned around and looked and he was standing there. I gave him my wonderful reason for not coming and he simply asked if I would come next week. I told him I was excited for his Zumba classes to start. We chatted about that for a while. I asked him what it was he did on Friday's that I was agreeing to come to? He said it was a advanced cardio class a mix of kick boxing and other stuff. I said "Do you realize I am just getting back into this after three years?" He said "It's ok, just come, you can stop if you need to." So I agreed to get my butt whooped. I am sure I will not be walking after he is finished with me in these advanced classes! What am I thinking???? I guess I will get more in shape right?
I came home and started cleaning and do laundry. My dryer broke yesterday, I took it a part and got it running smoothly again. Last night my washer started acting up. I think the motor burned out. I took it a part as well. A new part will cost me what a dryer costs. How do I do laundry? I am stressed. My grass needs cut, I need to get over my fear of the circular saw and make the stinkin nesting boxes and my dresser drawers get on my nerves. I feel so over whelmed.
Not to mention I haven't seen my husband in three days. Some days I have no energy to do this. I know eight more months. So today I am weary. I don't even know if we can buy a new washer because I can't talk to my husband!RRR Next week is shaping up to be just as crazy.

I can't believe the week is almost over

I didn't make it to the gym today much to my dismay. Kaidance woke up running a really high fever. I believe it is from the shots but since I am not sure I figured I would keep her home. I took Kendra to school and came home and laid back down for about an hour. I had horrible nights sleep.
Once I got up I worked on getting coupons, figuring out meals for the week and so on. My coupons wouldn't print. It took me two hours to figure this out!! I was so irritated and almost walked away. I am glad I didn't. I saved sixty four dollars today at the grocery store just printing coupons.
Kendra has another great day at school. Her teacher said she is a delight to have in class. She told me she was so smart and very well behaved. I am glad. She is a good kid.
After picking her up and going grocery shopping we went bye the school to see Joe. We took him some dinner and then headed home.
We know sooner got home that we ate dinner, got baths, did chores and to bed.
This whole week has been this way and tomorrow will be the same. We will be rushing around. My sister in law comes to town this weekend so I need to get my house cleaned!

First grade

I was dreading yesterday. I am not one of these parents who enjoy my kids going back to school. I would love to hug them and squeeze them all day but I also know it is best for them. They need to spread their wings and fly.
Unlike all the other parents Kendra would not allow us to walk her into school. After all she is a big first grader. We dropped off her and went to the gym. The day seemed to drag on. At moments I just wanted to cry. I missed her. I knew she was having a blast though. That evening we were having dinner together and she was telling me all about her day. This teacher has more rules then her old teacher. In fact, if you get put in time out three times in one day the teacher calls your parents. I asked her what she thought would happen if her teacher ever had to call her parents. She said her dad would say "Kendra? Really? She has never even been sent to the principles office!" She is a hoot.
Today she was just as excited as yesterday. She was up and out of bed with no trouble. She promised her dad she would eat breakfast this morning at school. Although once we arrived she was hesitant. I really did not think she would do it. When I picked her up she told me she ate breakfast. I told her I did not think she would and she said "Mom I promised Dad I would and I wouldn't go back on my promise." She is such a daddy's girl. She had another great day.
After I dropped her off this morning the little two and I went to the gym and worked out and then home for an hour and off to GR for wellness checkups.
Those little two are so brave. They had TB tests and never flinched. Poor Kaidance had five shots. I felt so bad for her. She barely cried though. The nurses said they have never seen children like mine before. They don't even cry when they get the flu shot. Apparently Kaidance has a heart murmur and is seeing a cardiologist. Kyra has delayed speech development and will be undergoing some testing. And Kaidance appears to be lactose in tolerate. Kyra has a stuffy nose but hey besides all that they are perfectly healthy:-)

Sexual addictions and what I don't understand

The many many stories I have heard lately:

1) A husband is cheating on his wife with a family member; lying, deception, porn have been a part of our marriage for years. Two kids, a beautiful wife, now a divorce.
2) One family, ten years of marriage, gone as if it was like a horrible sickness. I need to find myself. No, the truth is you found someone else. You have been cheating.
3) 30 years of marriage, five kids, a sexual addiction. Finally loosing everything, your house, your job, your wife. Why? Because of this addiction.
4) Affairs, abuse, pornography, a loyal wife who can't take it any more leaves after fourteen years of loyaty. Can't take the abuse, the lies, anger anymore.
5) Forty years of marriage to a wonderful women, but a sexual addiction, never dealt with, leads you to believe your eighteen year old son girlfriend would be a better fit. You give up your family to be in a relationship with a girl who could be grand daughter.
6) A doctor, a beautiful family, walks away to have a lavishing affair with one of his nurses. Leaving it all behind never to return.
7) Newly weds married two years, insecurities, lies, a sexual addiction leaving a wife unsure about herself. Am I not pretty enough? His reason? He is over weight. she knows that the problem is her. Masturbating is so much better. She is getting help. His addiction says he doesn't need help. The problem is her.

This topic of sexual addiction and marriage has been weighing heavily on my mind this evening. All seven of these scenerio's are true. They are people close to my life that our divorced, or on the verge of divorce. In every situation there is a sexual addiction.
I am not speaking as a therapist. I am speaking from my emotions right now. Which is a dangerous thing I know. But as I think about this tonight, especially about my friend who is married thirty years, I think "Her husband is saying she is not as important as the addiction."
This may or may not be true. But in every situation, it was usually the husband, and he failed to receive help. They didn't have a problem.
It scares me. I wish I could do something to help. I wish I could make people more aware of the dangers of sexual addictions but right now I don't know what to do. My heart breaks for all seven of my friends who have recently divorced or who are in the process. I wish I could take their pain away. Someone ring their spouses necks and say "Wake up you just gave up a gem!"
I did some research tonight and in case you are unaware of what defines a sexual addiction. Here you go from medicine net.
Introduction

The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.

Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.

For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

• Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)

• Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
• Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
• Consistent use of pornography
• Unsafe sex
• Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
• Prostitution or use of prostitutes
• Exhibitionism
• Obsessive dating through personal ads
• Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
• Sexual harassment
• Molestation/rape

Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).

How is sexual addiction treated?

Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event—such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisis—to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. These medications include Prozac and Anafranil.

Our vacation

Who knew you could love a dog so much? Our plan all along was to leave on Thursday around one. Our friends agreed to care for our dog. Joe was stressed because Sam had no dog tags. The girls and I ran to Pet Supply to by dog tags and then dropped Sam off. By time we got home it was 12;30. There was no way I would make it out of my house by one. We left at 2:30 and I was stressed. I hate being off course:-) We arrived at my mom and dad's around seven. We celebrated Kendra's birthday and hung out with the family. The next morning we left by 9:30 in the morning and headed to PA. We had a great drive. We arrived in Bloomsburg around 3:30 and visited the cemetery. That was sad. Kaidance didn't understand it all. Why shouldn't see Nokie.(Joe's mom) Kendra tried to explain it to her that Nokie is in heaven with Jesus and Kaidance then asked if Jesus removed her feet? She is so cute! I guess in her mind if she floated to heaven Jesus had to remove her feet.
After leaving the grave site we drove around and looked at Joe's old house and stomping grounds and then headed to dad and Kathy's house.
It was so cute. They were waiting for our arrival in the front yard. They had balloons for Kendra hanging on the rails. We were excited to finally see their house. It is so cute! We visited with them for a day in a half. They took us on a walk and to the park and we visited with Kathy's daughter that evening. We had a great visit. It went by fast! Sunday we took the girls to Knoebels. It is a amuesment park Joe went to as a child. My sister and her husband met us there. We had a wonderful time. We wore the kids out for the next leg of the trip. Which was six hours back to my mom's house. I did the majority of the driving which kept me from getting bored and Joe read. The kids rocked all the driving. They did amazing being in the car twenty some hours.
My mom and dad were out of town when we got back. We stayed at their house and then headed home today. We had one last meal together out, picked up and the dog and headed home to meet reality.
Kendra starts school tomorrow. I can't believe she is in first grade already. I am not ready for the all day every day but I will soon adjust right? I made the girls get back on schedule tonight. No more crazy bed times.
Back to the gym tomorrow as well. Back to life right? Vacation was wonderful! I am truly blessed!

Trying to go back to school

I spent most of my morning filling out the fasfa and other paperwork to begin my application process. Part of me is really excited and the other part scared. I just want to get this done. I figure having no degree will get me no where. I really have no marketable trade. Right now I am perfectly content being a mom and plan to always be a mom.
I am pursing a business degree to gain more knowledge in marketing and running a business. I think it will serve our family well as we prepare to open a therapeutic ranch one day. It excites me all the things we can do with this ranch and a little more knowledge never hurt anyone.
I am not a student. I love learning. But i have always found school challenging. I am hoping God gives me a lot of strength to do this.
Things are crazy around here as we prepare for vacation. I am excited to get away with my family for a few days before life goes nuts.
I can't believe our fall schedule starts next week. No more summer. Kendra starts first grade. It will take some getting use to not having her around all the time. I hope to start working with Kaidance and Kyra a little on pre-school stuff.
Joe is working and going to school and doing a internship. Did I tell you how amazing God is? Joe's work hours at his second job count toward his internship. Just six months ago we were unsure how this would all work. How would he go to school work a regular job and do a internship? Bingo, God had it under control! Not only does his second job pay him to do a internship but his first job will afford the opportunity to do seminars and stuff, get paid, and it counts toward his internship.Amazing!