The constantly changing life of a wife and mother

How to deal with disappointment

I was anxiously anticipating this past weekend. I could not wait for some time alone with my husband. The weekend was perfectly planned. Our babysitter came and my mom came to care for the girls.
I had a crazy week getting everything ready to leave for a day. It seems like a lot of preparation goes into leaving my house for less then 24 hours. I also had a crazy week at school that consisted of three projects, a quiz, and three threaded discussions, and five chapters to read. I was impressed that I got most of it finished besides the three projects. I figured once I got home I could work on them.
Friday night we were so excited to arrive to our motel. We went to Tractor Supply and then sat in the hot tub for awhile before leaving for night one of the conference. The conference went well and we stopped at Arby's on the way home. Joe had previously been sick with the stomach virus and I got it in the middle of the night! Joe ended up driving me home at five in the morning on Saturday. He actually got sick again as well it was a horrible hour drive home. He stayed for an hour and slept before heading back to start day two of the conference. I stayed home while my mom took care of the fort and was extremely sick. It was horrible. I have not been this sick in a long time. Kyra also came down with it at the same time I did.
It ruined the idea in my head. I am still trying to grasp the fact that my weekend alone with my husband turned into a puking fest. Oh well, at least my mom was here to save the day.

What have we been up too?

Can you believe it? We are 111 days away from Joe graduating. I am excited for all the new possibilities. We have decided not to stop with a masters degree. Seeing he is not getting any younger he is going straight for a doctorate. It is only another two years of school. In the meantime, we have started a new journey. We are very excited about it will be starting a web page soon so stay tune. Our new journey is marriage conferences. We have two in February and cannot wait to get started. This the start of a some big things coming:-) We will keep you posted.

Can it really happen? Can I really grow old with him?

It has been a rough week. Our van broke down last week and unfortunately its  not something simple. The transmission blew in it.We do not have the money to get it fixed right now. On top if it, Our horse got out again, and the neighbors called the animal control on us. Which was no big deal. I got sick on friday with a stomach virus and have just felt down every since. My homework is completed for the week, so this evening I decided to watch the Notebook. It is one of my all time favorite movies.
Two people are young and fall in love through all the ups and downs of life they get separated, move on with their lives only to find each other once again and get married. They grow old together and the wife gets Alzheimer.
In the nursing home or husband reads her the story of their lives hoping to help her remember him and their kids, their life together. She off and on regains her memory. The movie ends with them laying in bed dying together.
Do people will grow old together anymore. I am sure everyone grows old with their love but is it their first love? Is it the first person they promised for better or worse to? If not why? What changed their mind?
I want to grow old with this man

I want to be old in the nursing the home one day, sharing a room, play rummy together. I want to have quarrel with them, and flirt with them when I am to old to walk. I want to know love like I have never experienced it in my life when are married sixty years.
In today's society how does love stay alive? How do I live out this story when so many stories are ending long before they ever start?
I want this story to only end one way- TILL DEATH DO US PART.
Will happen? Will love keep us alive when no one seems to stay married to their first love?

Is there such a thing as a bad idea?

Some thoughts from the author of my buisness textbook:

There's no such thing as a bad idea?

What were they thinking?!

Oops!

But since new ideas by their very definition have no track record, it's often hard to distinguish the good stuff from the garbage. A quick review of some bad new ideas can be both amusing and instructive:

• The helicopter ejection seat: Press the button and try to avoid the whirling steel blades! Someone just wasn't thinking...
• The high security briefcase: If the wrong person grabs this briefcase, it emits a piercing scream and delivers a high voltage electric shock. Too bad it doesn't come with lawsuit protection. too...
• An inflatable dartboard. Enough said...

(Kelly,McGowen)

Back to school tomorrow

    I had such a great break. We had a lot of family time. I love it!! I have mixed emotions about going back. I love school and am anxious to start these next classes; however I will miss the freedom. Joe goes back at the end of the month and then life will really be back to normal. We only have four more months till Joe graduates. We are starting to looking at our future at what possibilities are out there for us. I really don't foresee to much change though.
Friday was a interesting day around here. I had a couple more chickens die. I absolutely hate messing with dead chickens. I had so much to get done around the house before we met up with us friends who just moved to Grand Rapids. As I am starting to sweep the phone rings and I realize my husband is calling. He needed me to come get him because the van died. Yep, the van all of a sudden stopped running as he was driving down the middle of the highway. It could be the engine which will be a pretty penny.
I am trying not to stress over it. God always takes care of us.
Next month we our doing a marriage conference. It will be our very first one. We are excited to do it and have a lot to share. I hope the weather is good so my parents can come and watch the girls. That would really make the weekend a lot smoother.

Looking back over 2009

I decided to do something a little different this year. Instead of doing a recap of every month of the last year I am going to share my favorite pictures from 2009.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

From Transaction-Based Salvation to Relationship based Salvation

A new quarter in college is slowly approaching. I have to be honest I am so excited! My marketing book came today and I was skimming through it.

The title "From Transaction-Based Marketing to Relationship Marketing" caught my eye. I read the first paragraph and it said

"The traditional view of marketing as a simple exchange process, or transaction-based marketing, is being replaced by a different, longer-term approach that emphasizes building relationships with one customer at a time. Traditional marketing strategies focused on attracting customers and closing deal..."(Boone)

 

 I stopped reading and immediately thought to myself "This is how a lot of people still view witnessing." It is the old marketing technique of presenting a phenomenal sales pitch something like this:

Let me ask you two diagnostic questions

If you were to die today are you for sure you would spend eternity in heaven?

If you stood before God today and He asked you “Why should I let you into my heaven?” What would be your response?(most likely they will say they have been a good person, or they lived a good life)

What if I told you that you being a “Good person” mean nothing to God? That your works will not save you?

Jesus says you are dead in your sin, that you live separated from God and the only way to Jesus is to admit that you are a sinner, that Jesus died on the cross for you, and He is the only way to heaven. Jesus says those who do not know him will spend eternity separated from him in a place called Hell, where Jesus says the fire never goes out. It is hot and you will burn forever and ever and ever! I don’t know about you but I would rather spend eternity with Jesus dancing on the streets of gold living in mansion. (Then you giggle a little) Now that you created the need you land the deal

Would you like to say a prayer with me right now and invite Jesus into your heart? (You hope they say yes)

If they say yes you:

You lead them into a prayer, leave their presence and welcome them to the kingdom God. Once you get home you put a big ole tally mark on your white board. One more soul you have saved.

If they say no:

You simply walk away and tell them you will pray for them.

 

I use to do this very thing. How could I possible walk away without the person praying the prayer? A relationship with Christ has simply been turned into sales, and making. It’s about numbers instead of relationships. Evangelism Explosion is a class I once took in college about how to witness. If you check out their webpage, it is all about marketing and sales-just read it. When will Christians change their marketing technique? How is it top marketing experts can see this approach does not work but fundamental Christians continue to "Close the deal?"
Boone goes on to say

"Today's marketers realize that, although it's important to attract new customers, it’s even more important to establish and maintain a relationship with them so they become loyal repeat customer."

I know Boone is not talking about Christianity in his statement. However it is exactly how I feel about witnessing. I would much rather build a relationship with them and “sale” them my product as I walk beside them as they become Christ Followers.

It is time for Christians to admit, that “Getting people saved “ is more about numbers and bragging then it about relationship. In fact the EE website says “Professions of faith in Christ:  more than 5.2 million” Christianity has become a numbers game instead about life long relationship building. I think it is time for more Christians to change their marketing approach.

It Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature......

The presents are wrapped and under the tree and the girls are in bed anxiously waiting for Christmas day. I can't wait to watch them open their presents. I am positive they will love all their gifts! We were going to spend Christmas with some friends but the weather is pretty frightful out there so we are staying home.
I got to spend time with my family today. I love the holidays for that reason alone. Their is nothing better. I am so blessed.
I am kind of lost without school though. I know weird. I am so use to my little routine that not having homework every night to do is weird. I am very excited for my next quarter of classes. I finished this quarter with a 3.0 and had my math grade counted I would have a 3.5 but the math class was prerequisite for college.
Merry Christmas everyone!

One more semester

December is usually a crazy month but this year it seems to be worse then the past. With Joe and I both in school the time flies!! I can't believe Christmas is here next week.
Joe was saying to me this morning, how much this month has hit our budget hard with extra expenses. It has been brutal. Some of friends of ours sent us some money in the mail to buy the girls some Christmas presents which was such a blessing. And then today, I got the mail and their was an unexpected check from our old insurance company. We had over paid our homeowners insurance. The check was a little more then our extra expenses for the month. Is it not amazing how God does this stuff? How He provides in the most unexpected ways.
This week was a crazy week. I think I spent every day at Kendra's school. One day they made gingerbread houses and I made the frosting for it. However they ran out and I had to make more and rush it there. It was fun though being there with all the kids. They get so excited to see me. I gets lots of hugs. I love it. Kendra had her school musical yesterday. She did such a great job! Joe was able to come this year too. When he was getting ready to leave and come he could find his keys. The program had started and I could see her looking all around for her dad and her face finally grew long with disappointed. Once I knew for sure he was there, and because she kept looking at me, I pointed to the back and she laid eyes on her dad and you could see the excited me in her eyes. It was so cute. After the program was her Christmas program and her dad had to sit with her at her seat. She is such a daddy's girl.
I am almost finished with school and Joe and Kendra finished up today.I am ready for a couple of weeks of family time. I could hardly wait to pick Kendra up from school today. I am so excited for this break. Monday is date night. A much needed date night. I think it has been almost eight weeks since Joe and I last went out and even that was a double date. We have not been out alone in months. We are going Christmas shopping and just spending time together. The girls are going to Katie and Sarah's house. They are so excited! It is like telling them they are going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

A Word From UTM

This is a letter from Joel Shaffer, the CEO and Founder of Urban Transformation Ministries, the organization my husband works with to help at risk teens, young adults and families.

 

Dear Friends,

When we turn on the news or read the papers, often we are exposed to the worst of the inner-city.  Violent crime, public schools as “drop-out” factories, rising unemployment, chronic poverty, soaring teen pregnancies, and gang-related killings appear as the only stories worth telling in the ‘hood.  Even though many of these problems do exist on a disproportionate scale within urban Grand Rapids, there are many stories of hope worth telling.  Consider Davien Fizer, a college student discipled through the ministries of UTM.    Ever since he was a child, Davien’s personality has magnetically drawn his peers.  Consequently, Davien’s connections have brought hundreds of students from all over the city to UTM programs where they heard the gospel and saw it lived out in community.  Sadly, as violence escalated in Grand Rapids, some of these students were shot in killed on its city streets, several of whom were part of rival gangs.  Davien has counted at least seventeen of his friends over the past six years that were gunned down on the streets of Grand Rapids.   In fact, Davien should have fallen through the cracks because of the multiple problems that pervaded his life.  His biological dad fathered twenty-five other brothers and sisters from multiple girlfriends and was never there for him. Twice, in the midst of street fights, Davien was shot at.  Succumbing to temptation, Davien fathered three children outside the confines of marriage.  

Despite these pitfalls, UTM did not give up hope on Davien and over time, Christ began transforming his life.  He abandoned the hustling and fighting that used to lure him to the streets.  He has moved out of the apartment that he shared with his “baby’s mamma,” yet continued to be a loving, responsible dad.  Moreover, as Davien grew in his faith, he assumed a more visible leadership role in the neighborhood as well as in the programs of UTM.  For instance, Davien works as an after-school activity leader with Camp Fire Boys and Girls at Palmer Elementary School, teaching at-risk children life skills and how to make positive choices.  Davien also volunteers both as a gym supervisor and coach for UTM’s basketball outreach.   This past summer, Davien coached a group of 8^th and 9^th grade boys from the ROCK, including “Tay-Tay, ” who  made headlines  three months ago when he was busted for bringing a sawed-off shotgun to Creston High School.  Yet Davien did not give up on Tay-Tay and continues to reach out to him and his family with the light of Christ.  When three of our students were stabbed in a street fight this past summer, Davien (along with two other student leaders from UTM) helped quell the violence by convincing several “thugs” to put away their guns and not take revenge.  When a UTM student named David Witherspoon was shot and killed over a year ago, Davien persuaded friends and a few family members of David to remain calm and not retaliate.    

Raising up Christians leaders in the ‘hood such as Davien is UTM’s answer to the social pathologies of violent crime and gang-related killings that plague inner-city Grand Rapids.  Morever, Davien is only one student among the many that have been impacted long-term by the ministry of UTM.  At this moment there are seventeen students of UTM attending colleges and universities all over the Midwest, including WMU, Ball State, Grace College (IN), Cornerstone, and GRCC.  If UTM is to continue to annually serve approximately 300 at-risk urban teens and young adults in Grand Rapids through sports outreaches, small-group Bible discussions, mentoring, employment assistance, crisis interventions, and leadership development we need your financial help.  Will you consider sending an end-of-the-year gift to help financially sustain UTM’s vital ministries in the ‘hood?  If you are not a regular donor, will you keep in mind building UTM into your monthly budget?  Maybe you can talk to the appropriate pastors, boards, or committees at your church so that UTM is placed into your church’s missions or outreach budget?   As Davien’s story testifies, your financial gift will make a lasting impact in the lives of at-risk teens and young adults within urban Grand Rapids. Young people like Davien need you to champion their cause. Will you step up and help?

You can find out more at www.utmgr.org